These hurts in my head are making me to feel that I will make a big explosion some day, I don’t know for how long time I could handle this. Anyway, it is a way to exist, I think. And the painting is turning in circles by the movement of the wind, that canvass that has the pencil through it that makes the pencil be part of the painting with yellow on it. Why Gabriel Orozco use in most of his works the circular or sphere form? I guess because he used to play soccer once a week, the ball is his point of attention, the sphere in other words. I asked him the other day “why?” and he answered me “because is easy”, responding him “Like a soccer ball” and he finished the short dialogue thinking first with a pause while he was walking with the people that were around him, “yes”. We can guess that everything part by a circular form, because is eternal. Life as itself is something that transcend by the time that we die and the next generation continue our life and the next successively. It is 10:50 and Im alive in Torino and a Cosita is planning to do something with me that I don’t know because she is giving me many food and drinks. This is a kind of testament. However, Italian people used to do this kind of things, food all over the table and different types of wine to taste, like that day in Davide’s House. And now is 10:14 in Torino, again. People are talking loudly Italian in the library. It is warm inside because of the air conditioner. Outside is cold, almost raining, well windy in other words. Thinking in the Stranger of Camus is making me react in real time. I’m waiting Ilaria that is taking her final test in the University. I have some hurts in my back and my eyes are completely red, I couldn’t sleep well during night. In a way, these hurts are making me exist, otherwise I would be working as a robot. After everything, today is 5:57 in Madrid. Even if is winter here, it looks like summer days. Cosa is sleeping with her “brrr” noises. Listening this rap and taking easy the day. Today I’m planning to take some pictures around everything that I’ll have next to me. Being serious with everyone looking for a rhetorical speech. The sound of the soda mixing with the ice inside the glass, is making the sweet sound of the dark small room where anyone can listen to us. The idea is simple by the way to do something here in Madrid. I’m planning to be naked in the center of Sol for just a couple of seconds and pointing a dot in my skin where is placed my hearth. The idea is to make the connection between the dot of the country and my own dot. Two dots that are connected by a desire of someone, because at the end, it is real that someone is the one who finally decide where the dot will be placed after a long reasoning in a group of people. It is because of the decision to act before think. Write now to everybody. Write now to people that are waiting your response for knowing your next step. It is about an evolution, not a revolution. But then again in Torino at 7:01, with big hurts in my head. I realize that someone scratched in my back, like a cat, maybe Minetto, fucking cat. I started to be very logical from now, trying. Stressed month by the way. And now is 00:53 in Venice. Yes, we traveled with Ilaria again to the city of water. Today is the last year of the year. What I can say now about myself? I think this was the year where I could define myself as a real rolling stone in nowhere. Sometimes I was thinking that I was going nowhere with any support from anyone, sometimes I was thinking that I was doing wrong decisions that were making me feel bad about myself and something else, sometimes I was completely lost. But I just realize that it is truth, I’m lost, I have to know about that, otherwise I cannot continue with my life. This moment of “no se que” that I’m living I think is one of the greatest one that will be of all my life, don’t waste your time in shits. And in the road I found a mask that could talk to me, I have it next to me, it is sleeping, like a Cosa with her “brrr”. When I’m thinking that I was in Bilbao, I think that was just a dream and not real, part of my huge imagination. It is impossible for a man to build perfect ideas, because that museum it is about perfection and that’s it. There is no more things to say about it or create new interpretations, that museum is perfect. I was completely drunk when we arrived, but when we hit the river where is located that enormous beauty, the big shape during that night was taking our high points of perfection. And later we will go to the center of Venice, what will happen or what we will have to do, I’m not completely sure, I just feel that something will happen today, I said that to Cosa before. I need a pizza. Every second is passing and I can’t controlled it very well. Taking huge decisions and just follow with what you started. This explosion is how I will start this new year or last year as some people are saying about. What I can do then? just live and that’s it. I will be a machine gun this new year. My existential situation is in his high point of expression. It is about a soon explosion, seconds counting.
Wheel on wheels, 2011
